``why is it, the moment you turn around to leave, it seems like you've forgotten my heart is on your sleeve...


I guess, these days i really still don't know...
what goes through his mind.
And, sometimes it hurts to think that he's having fun without me.
to think that he can smile better without me.
to think that, if i was there it wouldn't even make a diffrence.
i wodner why these kind of thoughts are still in my head,
causing this feeling of insecurity.
Even though, i usually...let go after finding out abotut hese kind of feelings,
i just can't seem to bring myself to.
And even though, the one time i really used all my strength to at least motion to him,
that we should not be together any longer, he refused my request.
the request that it ook all my strength to ask...or you could say motion.
That prove show much he loves me, but what if it's not enough...?
not enough to cure and ease these insecurities, this pain?
And even, if friends are there, why is it always that one person to make me feel truly complete.
Why does it have to be a boy, why couldn't it be a friend, just a friend who could be relied on?
At soem point, i began to wonder...
Why did i ever fall in love, when, and mostly how...?
how did i manage to get myself stuck in this situation?
And why, do i always try to cope with all the pain within me by myself?
whilst copping all the things that he gets angry at me for.
Maybe i deserve this? did i do something wrong in my past life?
But, most of all, Why and how do i manage to stay trapped in this dilemma?
I love him more than words could express, but i wonder how much more i can take before i eventually break, yet again, like always.
Sometimes i just think, someone is just testing how strong my love is for him?
i wonder if people will think it's strong enough to keep me going....
because, i definitely believe that the love i have for him, is stronger than anything else that i have ever felt.


love, juliee<3>



BTW...=O
I badly sprained my ankle and is currently on crutches T_______T" how gay...
but dw! that flovely someone is taking care of me as always, even if he does get angry at me, so i'm a recover in no time lahs =)
toodles! =)