Maybe-- just a hopeful word.
In life, there are always goods and bads.
sometimes a trust is often betrayed,
but if the bond between those people is strong enough,
the trust will still remain, and only continue to grow stronger,
to lend a help in hand each time one is down.
And it's a wonder how life would be if we didn't have those kind of friends to be there for you
to help you anytime they can.


However, it is still a wonder, if as an outsider-
a couple that includes his/her best mate,
that the outsider's best mate has changed from spending time with the gorup to putting all
their effort and time in the one they love instead.
Is it right for them to feel as thought their friend is harder to approach?
And if so, should that person break that couple apart?
Just so that their selfish request could be accomplished.


And so, the girl/guy of the couple hears about this,
is it right for them to think they're the problem?
so should they solve it by shrinking away from their partner so he or she could be happy along with their friends. or should he/she be selfish and keep them form having time with their friends? What if the partner tagged along, but didn't really mix into the group, what then?
so, should that partner put in all the effort to try and make their partner happy, no matter how much it kills them or hurts them.


I really don't understand.. shouldn't friends understand one another? so in that case, shouldn't they understand that their friend is currently taken, as they are not a single person anymore, to do the things they used to do...
Maybe, it'd be better if that guy, had a life without her...
Yeh just maybe...


However, what if they had the feeling that without their partner, they feel they would die?
and what if, they wanted to stay together, what if it was actually the person's choice to hang out with their partner or not... what then?


In life, these days...
Things are complicated.
things are misunderstood.
and jugdements is what your popularity relies on.


Problems come and go... but each time it's solved it just feels all the more better.
Maybe, life has to have its own dramas, to shape each and every person in this universe.
just maybe...


"maybe"-- a hopeful word.






Let's see... It seems like i made a mistake yesterday?
Maybe not? I actually expressed how i felt, and what i was going through full stop.
All the while tyring to breathe, and keep calm. Never-the-less, all that effort of keeping everything in, just went to waste. Should i keep bottling everything inside of me?
I think maybe, i shouldn't say some thing... i think, i'll be fine as long as that perosn is happy.. it doesn't matter if i suffer. If he wants to see her? well i should just let him make his own choices, and support them... It doesn't matter if it hurts. big deal tush tush. Nothing will ever compare to the feeling of being apart from him or having his love taken away from me... I think, at this stage, we're actually pretty good... because we're still together, willing to lend a helping hand each time we need each other. i guess if he does see her then it doesn't matter... because i know he loves me? and so i trust him. i guess i would rather be the second girl, rather than to be apart from him. And times with him are so indescrible, and so so uncomparable. Somehting i'd never wnat to lose. ever. I'm still hoping & wishing as always... foolish but.. what can i do?
really, i wonder if he even read my entries =)
well, the song, we're good by Paula De Anda & Frankie J has good, Meaningful lyrics...

All that we have is everything we need (Yeah)
I'll stand by you and you will stand by me.
Won't listen to what they say.
No baby there ain't no way.
Nothing is ever going to come between us.
Just you and me.

But we're still keeping it together, we're good.
Aint nobody breaking us apart & no one ever could.
Only cause we're only getting closer, we're tight.
None of their words and lies don't matter.
They can say what they like.
We're doing alright, we're doing alright.

well, ima offskiies people.
toodles.

p.s. I love you...<3



It seems like things are still so-so....
well with me. I'm very sick! ><" i feel like shit ><"
hmms.. i can't help but to always go back to "that" memory, and yes, everything has been getting better, but pictures just won't get out of my head, i don't know why i'm like this...
And i think... if i tell him, it's just gonna ruin everything that we've worked on up til now.
How can i take her away from him... how can i separate them...? all very bad thoughts, that i try to not think of, yet it just pops up in my head involuntarily. it's the worst feeling ever.
I'm trying so hard, but nothings working... why does she have to call him out for?
why does she have to meet him for? Doesn't she understand...? i wonder, if being nice to me, 'mending' things-if you could call it that, is just a way to get closer & closer to him?
But then again, it's not just him, it's everyone else too, does she like ruining relationships? Maybe, she does it cause she's lonely... i can't help but wonder, why she does this.
Does she realise the damage it might make, or have made?
I understand that she has her own problems, however, everyone has their own problems, you don't see them running off, calling out other people's boyfriends o.O"
nonetheless, tleling them to stay out late, because you're staying out late...
It's a no wonder why the image of chetaing get's into people's head.



Tell me this: IF ( emphasism intended) another guy starting calling me out, and asking me to stay out all night, and i was really close to them, and he needed me for comfort. And i actually meet him after telling my boyfriend that i'm just gonna hang with friends, or go home...
to an outside person, i wonder if they would think that i was actually cheating on my boyfriend.


ALSO, what if i relied on him to take away all my anxiety, fears, and used his shoulder as support through my life instead of my own boyfriend. Not only that, but end up liking him for just a little bit of time...? And then, everything goes back to normal anyways, but i really do wonder, even if everything was back to normal... that if that guy kept calling me out anyways, and that those memories of those awful moments of my boyfriend's life, would he be worried? would he be paranoid, just like i am? would those painful memories be etched into his head, so hard to forget....


Well i guess that's all for now, except for the fact that taster week is over ( woot) and that
i'm super super sick!

take care lahhs <33



It's funny how things start at an all time low...
and ends up really good.
It's funny how you think it's the end of the world , when it's not.
Somehow, during these pass few weeks it felt like something was eating me up inside, dragging my soul and heart out into the world, to be stomped on.
The pain, the hurt, so indescribable...
And, when waking up and going to school as per usual suddenly seemed so hard,
i wonder how i even ended up going to a whole day of school.
The depression that was in me seemed so unmendable...
and how stupid was i to not even think that our love was unbreakable...
A whole day with him is the best thing, it can push a lifetime of pain away...
i can forget everything when i'm with him.
And it's funny, how he can lift all this weight off my shoulders with just simple words that melt my heart into ease.
And it's times like these, that in this kind of love,
you can still really trust everything is going to be alright.
And it's times like these, that with those feelings being so good
you feel so at ease with him.
Finally, it's times like these one pro will weigh out all the con's...
and that's when you know, you are definitely in love with him...
that you are willing to trust, believe and love all over again.
No matter what stands in your way, you'll conquer it all,
together, always and forever.

That's when you know, that for sure, you are deeply in love with him...
and nothing will ever change that.<33



Well, i finally made a blog =)
all thanks to my amy-oh =)
Somehow, maybe this should be the answer to all my unreleased feleings.
I don't know how i feel now.
so lost and confused to be honest, and it's just, maybe he can't understand how i feel...
how hurt it was, how hurt everything was.
i try hard to get over it, i do.
but it keeps replaying in my head against my will.
These tears comes against my will.
This aching is against my will.
And everywhere in my heart, it's aching, and i'm holding it together, but it feels like breaking.
But, i'll just continue, to lie.
i'll just continue to keep my head held up high.
cause, my feelings aren't understandable.
so i'll try my best to forget.
i'll try my best to move on...